Flying

Notes from Circus School – Week 5

This week has reinforced the importance of surrounding oneself with positive people. The negativity that consumes people in their busy modern lives was something that struck me when I got back from the trail. It feeds itself, growing out of control like some horrifying monster. And it’s hard to escape. This week has been a good reminder. Whilst I’ve been injured it has been hard to stay positive, every time I’ve felt like I’m getting better I’ve taken several steps backwards. So I’ve been really grateful to have people I can count on to be positive. The friends from the trail who are almost without exception willing to see the world as full of potential rather than obstacles. The creative people who can find inventive solutions to problems. The people right on my wavelength that can recognise the trajectory of my thoughts and change the direction without it feeling forced and inviting rebellion. Amongst people inclined to focus on the minute annoyances of everyday life I find myself doing the same. Amongst people who believe that life can be better I find that my perspective broadens and the transitory setbacks appear smaller. And the trail taught me not to sweat the small stuff. Injury sucks, and missing out on classes I’ve paid for sucks too. But I will heal. I am strong. And I can learn fast.

Monday made me worse, learning new moves that turned out to be twisting which was not obvious from the description. Tuesday was frustrating and depressing. But with the help of some great people I’m feeling more peaceful about the healing process. It’s a fait accompli. I’m injured. Too late. But I can rest properly, stay happy, become a crack juggler and super flexible because of all the extra stretching. These are good things. Things I couldn’t do otherwise. I just have to retain the confidence to say I’m sitting out. Back myself because I’m right. I know my body, and whilst it’s capable of amazing things when it’s healthy, it’s telling me right now that certain things are going to have to wait. Just like the small annoyances of everyday life, it’s possible to take two different viewpoints; frustration and doom, or small stuff not worthy of valuable emotional energy. I choose sanity and optimism.

On Friday I got an appointment with an athletic therapist rather than taking the “rest and wait indefinitely til it’s better” approach of the NHS doctors who can’t really cater for people on a schedule. She poked and prodded and stretched and twisted, and came up with a potential diagnosis of strained abdominals and torn or detached rib cartilage. Inconvenient but not a disaster. I just have to wait until it’s not painful to breathe then I can start doing some planks and side planks, then move back to apparatus that works across the body like Chinese pole and potentially rope and silks. Hanging stuff last. I could potentially be sitting out until the Easter break, but I’m prepared for it and have plenty of things to be concentrating on in the meantime.

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